All I See Is You - Movie Review

All I See Is You (2016)

Woof.  Okay, this is why I do this.  This is why I write reviews.  To help you - as my fans and listeners to the podcast.  I take chances on movies - I share the great ones with enthusiasm and I warn of the...other ones.  Here we go again.  "A blind woman's relationship with her husband changes when she regains her sight and discovers disturbing details about themselves."  Hmm...decent, right?  Oh, and BLAKE LIVELY.  You know, like Ryan Reynold's Blake Lively who is utterly gorgeous and famous for The Shallows (and Gossip Girl for Adam).  Okay, Lively (Gina) has been blind since childhood when she was in a horrific car accident (possibly with her parents, but that's never really tied up...but she was a child, I guess.  Okay - with her parents.)  So she lives a somewhat sheltered life under the care of her husband (Jason Clarke - Zero Dark Thirty and Everest).  Then, there is a cutting edge technology which can bring eyesight back to one of her eyes and it works! Yay technology!  But then....the movie just gets weird.  Her husband is sterile and can't have kids so maybe his minds not right...but sex isn't working anymore now that she can see.  But she records it once and Clarke just watches it a lot?  Trying to figure out what has changed.  They visit her sister and her weird ass husband who talks about anal and wipes blood all over his body?  Then there's a dog, which she adopts because they owner was going to put it down because it was blind question mark - but she's blind, so that's rude...?

Okay, look.  This movie is a cluster fuck.  Basically Lively was blind and married a sub par looking husband who took care of her.  Then she regains her eyesight and realizes she's pretty hott (no one can disagree).  So then her husband tries to make her blind again so she can depend on him...but then she cheats, gets pregnant when her husband is sterile, and I'm pretty sure he just kills himself.  I don't know if my ratings are getting tougher or if these films are just that bad.  It's all the depression from Manchester by the Sea with none of the upside (was there upside there?).  I think I rated that one too highly.  But this is bad.  I don't know.  I thought maybe she found out the husband was cheating and a total asshole, but really he's not that bad?  I mean trying to make her blind again is pretty shitty but she did way worse?  Okay, keeping this short - confusing movie, weird movie, bad movie.  Don't watch.

Review: 3.4/10


Rupture - Movie Review

Rupture (2016)

Do you recall why I'm not allowed to write movie reviews or give my thoughts on films?  This is an example as of why.  I had on my watchliist a film titled "Rupture."  Take a listen at these two tag lines: "A single mom tries to break free from a mysterious organization that has abducted her." and "Abducted and studied by a group of strangers, a single mother's genetic abnormality causes her to transform into her true self."  Okay, sounds like something I can get behind!  Mysterious.  Sci-Fi.  This could be good.  Let me gather my friends and let's watch this Sci-Fi movie that will blow you away.  This is why I'm not allowed to make movie reviews or recommendations.

The bright side?  I watched Rupture alone.  No one else was given a "great recommendation," even though I had never, myself, seen it.  All these people who say I recommended The Cube and The Road.  I had never seen either of them.  Even Rookie bashing on Quarantine - we both watched it for the first time together.  I HEAR of great ideas that SHOULD be good movies - expose myself to it - and sometimes get a mixed bag.  Okay, have I cleared my name?  Good.

Rupture.  What was I expecting?  I'm not sure.  I read a review that said the point of a horror movie is to "keep you on the edge of your seat" and at one point I was really interested in what was going on.  This certainly wasn't a horror movie at all, in my opinion.  Sci-Fi fits it perfectly and maybe Drama?  Thriller at best.  Rupture follows Noomi Rapace (famous for Prometheus, one of the BEST Sci-Fi movies ever) as she finds herself captured by strangers and in a strange room tied down.  This is really a tale of three movies.  The first 30 minutes was the necessary back story of her being divorced, her son misbehaving, and her putting a knife into her pocket.  The next 20 minutes are her in this room and you're confused.  Then there's about 20 minutes of "this could actually be good" - followed by (so, I guess 4 parts) wow, this was garbage.  So yeah, she's tied up in this room - she does eventually break free and climbs around in the vents seeing all the torture going on around her - and ultimately what her fate might be.  She could probably escape but then hears they're headed to her room so she....goes back....?  Which turns out okay so she escapes AGAIN and then gets was bad escaping at a minimum - but then the downside.  The torture thing I get.  So the concept was to turn a person's fear of their most feared object into something....else, which transforms their body slightly and has no benefit.  I guess I'm ultimately confused at how the "Rupture" actually even helps.  It distorts their face.  The more I write about this, the dumber this movie was.  So, in the end (spoiler alert?  Look, don't watch.) she "Ruptures" and then they want to help her son?  But he drives a bike away.

Okay, bad film.  Bad try.  Be thankful this isn't 2008 and you weren't stuck watching this with me because I was utterly disappointed and the disappointment came too late.  At least some movies are just bad and you can shut them off.  But this one didn't make enough sense to shut off until you figured it out and by that point it was so dumb it was useless.  I....I don't know what else to say.  This was not good.  It's getting points for the slightly interesting middle.

Review: 3.8/10


Braven - A Movie Review

Braven (2018)

My watchlist contains 275 movies on it and when I go searching sometimes I wonder why the hell a movie ever made my watchlist.  One reason, for certain, is I feel like I missed out on a movie a few years back.  I've tried to find it everywhere on the planet and I can't.  It's FOMOOM (Fear of missing out....on movies).  So everything gets added and I watch a lot (A LOT) of bad movies.  But luckily for you, I now give reviews and you know what to watch and what to skip.  So Braven - you've never heard of it.  Should you watch it?  The answer in this case....YES!

Braven is about a family man - struggling with his father's health and addiction, so he takes him up to their cabin in the mountains.  Unfortunately, it's the same cabin where one of his loyal workers decided to store some dope.  Yikes.  Joe Braven, who looks like Roman Reigns (or the Rock, with long hair) is a total badass who is trying to save his family from some crazy drug lords.  The film is relatively quick paced and is a lot of fun.  It's not over the top, but has some good gore spots for you disgusting people out there.

Overall, the movie is solid - Jason Momoa (Conan and Aquaman in Justice League) does a good job as the first real movie I've seen with him.  The writing isn't the strongest but the movie itself is worth a watch.  If you want a nice little action film that's the perfect runtime (94 minutes), definitely check out Braven.  Then, get your hatchet and go throw it at some trees in the woods.

Review: 7.3/10

Man Down - A Movie Review

Man Down (2015)

This movie can be a little bit of a touchy subject as the matter is about PTSD.  Man Down follows Gabriel Drummer (Shia LaBeouf) as he searches for his son in a post-apocalyptic America.  The movie teeters back and forth between Drummer's days in the war, to his meetings with a counselor about PTSD, to the present.  It's somewhat of a confusing mix until it all clicks at the end.  Man Down gets such a high rating, overall, because of it's "The Sixth Sense" like twist at the end which is A+.

Ultimately, I thought the movie was pretty well done.  The knocks on it are generally from veterans who are disputing the realistic nature and unhappy about the serious topic of PTSD.  I cannot relate and watched this strictly for entertainment value of a movie - and it was just that.  When you realize what's truly happening in the movie, it's a shot to the gut.  It's somewhat eye opening and it really does, in my opinion, hammer home the true issues of PTSD.  This isn't a war movie.  This is a character movie.  This is a "wow" movie that will leave you thinking about the film for more than a few days afterwards.  I'll suggest this to all of our fans just as a movie critic - so you can see the twist and give your thoughts on how the film is portrayed.

Review: 7.1/10

The Mountain Between Us - Movie Review

The Mountain Between Us (2017)

The Mountain Between Us is a movie starring two strangers (Idris Elba and Kate Winslet) who are stranded after a plane crash and forced to survive the horrible elements on a remote, snow covered mountain.  The beginning of the movie was a little slow, but also very important to the entireity of the film.  The last hour is, not only exciting, but is vital in character development and wrapping up the story as a whole.

Reminder, I'm getting a little more in depth in my reviews - so possible spoilers ahead.  The beginning of the movie slates Elba and Winslet onto a small charter plane to make a trip when the commercial flights shut down.  They both have incentives to travel and they're both willing to take the small risk.  While the weather grounded commercial planes, weather is not what ultimately grounded (pun intended) their charter plane.  The pilot has a stroke in what is suddenly a moment that makes you think twice about your real life travels.  There are only three humans (and a dog) on the flight and it heads downward into a remote mountain.  The pilot passes away and Elba and Winslet (and the dog) survive the flight - although Winslet has a broken leg, rendering travel very difficult.  A failed day 2 plane discovery lets realization sink in that they need to seek help instead of wait for it and that's where the movie picks up.

The movie is a roller coaster of emotion from Winselt sending Elba after the dog constantly, making you fear where the dog may have ended up, to a shocking roller coaster moment where Elba discovers a house as Winslet simultaneously falls through some thin ice into freezing cold water, nearly losing her life.  The ups and downs as they realize Winslet isn't able to continue walking and the difficult decision whether or not to part ways - each moment tugs a little bit at the heart of both characters as well as your own.

The trek to find help isn't without it's scares and moments where you wonder if the two will survive.  Not to mention the fact of how strong of a bond is built between two people fighting to help each other survive and how that would treat life after rescue.  The Mountain Between Us is a movie that continues to grow on me as I think back on it a few days later.  Worth a watch.

Review: 6.4/10